UNEP - Kick The Hypocrisy!

So, everyone appears to be taking our planet in peril very seriously. And hands down to all these chaps who according to today's Nation, "started a meeting in Nairobi on Monday amid calls for a “new global green deal” – an ambitious initiative that would see the creation of more jobs, eradication of poverty while averting climate-related disasters. The high level meeting, attended by delegates from more than 140 countries at the United Nations Environmental Programme headquarters in Gigiri, comes hot on the heels of the global challenges facing various countries including food shortages and the financial crisis."

Things must be very serious for our dear President to take time off from sorting out who stole the maize and why no one wants to go to court for murdering lots of Kenyans and all the rest of those very important matters.

Mr. Kibaki has clearly done his homework. In his opening remarks he says, “We need to move towards a green and low carbon economy, for this will deliver multiple benefits and ultimately result in achieving sustainable development that benefits all.”

"Low Carbon Economy"

What sort of vehicles do you think these 140 important people rocked up to the meeting in? Perhaps one of these?


No, doubt our Very Important People's Government of Kenyan wanted to make sure they can live up to the very high standards set by the United Nations. And of course we all know that there is no shortage of fancy cars donated by Kenyan citizens the GoK. Between January 2003 and September 2004, President Mwai Kibaki's government spent at least Kshs 878 million in the purchase of luxury cars that were largely for the personal use of senior government officials such as ministers, assistant ministers and permanent secretaries. So which one do you think he might have used for this very important meeting? Could it have been this one?


Silly Sukuma!! Do you think such important people have time to worry about such trivial issues?? I mean even some of their senior staff told you that they have much more important things to be concerned about. It is for minions to start ensuring that we stop using electric alarm clocks and drive fuel efficient cars. As busy as they are, they still took the time to write to me and assure me that they are very very busy being fuel efficient. The UNEP spokesperson personally wrote to me to remind me, "You may also be pleased to know that, as a result of donor countries re-newed confidence in the organization and the leadership of Achim Steiner and the previous ED, Klaus Toepfer, as well as a recognition that we are doing an increasingly quality global job+ the urgent important of addressing environmental degradation, funding for UNEP is rising at a time when cuts are being registered in many other UN agencies and national environment ministeries."

In fact this very important spokesman was so friendly that he offered me a personal invitation to Dandora Dumpsite and also suggested, "that you can give me some tips on how the hell I stop black smoke pouring out the back of my elderly 1992 Land Cruiser."

He was even kind enough to send me their very important strategies for greening UNEP. I was really confused about this because I would have thought getting rid of his smoking landcruiser might be the easiest and cheapest starting point to greening UNEP...anyways, I haven't quite put my head around all this stuff yet, so I beg your forgiveness.

Silly Sukuma!! Didn't you read?? These guys have much more important things to solve! Wall Street is dragging us all into the dumps right now and our good man Obama is trying to do everything he can to stop the poorer getting poorer. He even told those naughty CEOs that there will be no more hefty salaries for them! Do you think President Kibaki might do the same or at least make those naughty MPs pay taxes?

Mr. Steiner is a very clever man and he knows that as the big guns get ready to pour money into the economy and stimulate Americans to BUY BUY BUY, we need to be very cautious: “It is the manner in which such funds are invested that will have a direct bearing on mitigating other environment and development challenges.”

Such funds are invested...

Mr. Steiner, how much do you think this meeting cost? What was the value of cars parked outside your office yesterday? How much of that was tax payers money? How much of that cash was meant for him:

You know as well as I do, WHY we have a food crises in Kenya. You know as well as I do how easily it could have been avoided and you know as well as I do that charity starts at home!! Everyone is busy intellectualising about saving the planet and you are standing there with the very people who are the cause of 10 million Kenyans facing starvation. You also know that your staff for the most of it don't really care about reducing their own carbon emmissions and reducing unnecessary waste of hard earned cash that could be used to really address issues. How can you stand there with my shameful government and intellectualise about droughts and CO2 gases when they are the ones who have stolen our maize?? Why are you all so busy pussy footing around the real issues?

I have a lot of respect for you Mr. Achim Steiner and I really hope you might follow in the footsteps of a handful of humans that know that the first step to addressing any problem is to start dealing with the hypocrisy and get the log out of our own asses...

BANNED IN THE UNITED NATIONS OF GIGIRI

Dear Readers,

Following a comment left recently by a kind reader who informed me that Sukuma Kenya was banned in the UNON system, I received the following confirmation from their Media Department:

Access Denied by SmartFilter as per the UN Internet Use Guidelines
An electronic copy of this Guideline is available at http://www.unon.org/e-Mail-Internet-Use-Guidelines.doc

---

You cannot access the following Web address: http://sukumakenya.blogspot.com/2009/02/getting-away-with-it-all-messed-up.html The site you requested is blocked under the following categories: Hate/Discrimination The IP address of your PC is: 10.64.124.11

The UNEP Media Department have been particularly effective at informing the IT Dept. to "unblock" Sukuma Kenya immediately.

I want to extend my gratitude to the UNEP Media Dept for taking me off the hitlist and sincerely hope they will be as effective in implementing their internal recommendations for initial actions to make UNEP climate neutral starting on 1 January 2008 (only highlights below but you can read the fully Monty HERE):

1. to reduce the climate footprint of UNEP through adoption of sustainable management practices for its operations at HQ and in all the regions;
2. to ‘lead by example’ and provide a basis for raising awareness of similar organizations, of governments, and of the public as a whole;

.... Engage the entire UN family to become C-neutral (e.g., through the EMG). blah blah blah and...
As specific preliminary actions, the SMT may wish to consider a range of bottom-up proposals to reduce energy consumption included in the Initial Environment Review as well as those by staff through the Step-by-Step initiative. These include the following:

i. undertake staff training on how to reduce their own energy consumption;

ii. proper installment of Energy Star software in PCs;

iii. install motion sensors for lighting and other uses where applicable

iv. install energy saving bulbs everywhere in the compound;

v. ensure all lights are turned off when not needed;

vi. install laptop computers that use 90% less energy than normal computers;

vii. install flat screen LCDs that use 35% less energy than normal screens;

viii. promote bicycle use by improving cyclist facilities (bicycle storage area, lock and changing rooms) and improving infrastructure for bicycles with long term plans to construct bicycle paths where appropriate;

ix. public awareness to be promoted and opportunities created on bulletin boards for personnel who car pool (i.e. chart/ table to be created with names/ times and telephone numbers);

x. promote public transit usage among staff members i.e. security should revise its advisory warnings and consider providing more secure means of transport;

xi. encourage the provision of UN petrol station to sell low sulphur diesel;

xii. use some of the existing fuel tax at the UN petrol station to support greening projects;

xiii. raise awareness of what people can do to improve the transport situation e.g. use of low emission vehicles;

xiv. devise schemes to encourage employee purchase of energy-efficient vehicles and to discourage employee purchase of energy-inefficient vehicles (duty free import programme, etc.); and

xv. phase-in energy efficient vehicles to UNEP fleet.

So will you Kick The Habit UNEP?

Not so long ago a few people in cyberspace began to scratch their heads confused about why it was ok to drive big gas guzzling SUVs but not ok to use an electric alarm clock according to UNEP.

For a while the blogosphere was abuzz with queries and investigations into this oxymoron with the likes of Rob Crilly sharing UN branded donkeys (much more fuel efficient than the grounded SUVs!) and Nick Wadhams providing regular Humvee Alerts and of course our dear Kenyan Pundit providing a space for others to wonder and comment. (apologies for all the hyperlinks but the lord knows we scream and shout!). Do you think it is possible we are making a mountain out of a molehill? Hmmmm....:

Actually it turns out that for some this has been a subject dear to their heart with Rob writing in the Times Online as far back as 2007. Alas, the Nairobi Star were considerate enough to save our hopeless queries to today in hope that perhaps all the great custodians of our Environment currently meeting at UNEP headquarters might pick up the paper as they sit in their aircon SUVs caught in Nairobi's traffic. And just in case they miss it or want to share the story with their kids when they get back home (can someone at UNEP advise me what their carbon footprint is from flying across to Kenya to save the planet?)

But does anyone out there really care? To rephrase: does anyone who get's paid a salary to save the planet actually really really care??

My kingdom for a Humvee!

Alas, as a tribute to UNEP's noble campaign urging us all to Kick the Habit, we the bloggers unite in our allegiance to the cause and I personally promise to stop using an electric alarm clock when you get your staff to take the logs our of their own asses please!

Meanwhile, less you think that nothing good has come out of your campaign UNEP, feel at ease in knowing you are a source of true inspiration for many writers and artist (merci monsieur Ed for the rhyme just on time...)

"Isn't it a bummer
when you buy yourself a hummer
and some prat puts you down on the net!
Global warming's just for fairies
the science about it undoubtedly varies
and most of its apologists are wet.
So even though I work for UNEP
I am rightly proud of my rep
as an aging but highly sexed eco czar
in a oversized gas guzzling toy of a car"

UN Hypocrisy: Kick the CO2 Habit!

The Environment News and Information Blog, Fire Earth were also quick to point out the UN hypocrisies:

"How many billions of air miles do you and your staff at the UN [and all UN-affiliated organizations] fly each year? Pray tell us!"

Click HERE to read the rest of this post...

Kick The Hummer!

UNEP's campaign to Kick The Habit is in full swing. They are out and about at the malls preaching to us full blown polluters on how we can reduce our carbon emissions.



















Do visit the FUH2 (Fuck you and your H2!!) campaign for the facts on this family of cars. I am told that to add insult to injury, it is common practice in this country to rip off emission control systems on imported cars.Does the owner of this car have any idea what a car like this represents and does the UN have any moral standards. THIS IS WHAT WE SEE! THIS IS WHAT YOU REPRESENT!






















These are all personal staff cars but what does this say about their own policies? I guess it is not only Kenyans that have to pay the price for others to drive around in these ostentatious gas guzzling mobiles. We all pay one way or another for these guys to be the custodians of our planet.



















Thanks to everyone who sent in photos and facts. And to Kenya Pundit and Rob Crilly who have posted about this too. The photo on Rob's blog is a must see! Keep them coming and we'll keep posting. You can also join our flikr Kick The Habit photo pool and load up photos directly. And please also send copies to UNEP directly. I am sure they would be very happy to see what their own staff are doing to Kick The CO2 Habit!

Nick Nuttall, UNEP Spokesperson, Office of the Executive Director, on Tel: +254 20 762 3084; Mobile: 254 733 632 755 or when traveling +41 795 965 737; E-mail: nick.nuttall@unep.org

Or Anne-France White, Associate Information Officer, on Tel: +254 20 762 3088, Mobile: + 254 728600494; E-mail: anne-france.white@unep.org

Or Angele Luh, UNEP Regional Information Officer, on Tel: + 254 20 7624292; fax: + 254 20 7623928; Mobile: + 254 2 722 429770; E-mail: angele.luh@unep.org

Or Robert Bisset, UNEP Spokesman for Europe, on Mob: +33 6 2272 5842; E-mail: Robert.bisset@unep.fr

OR YOU CAN JUST KEEP DONATING
AND KEEP PAYING TAXES
TO KEEP THE LOG UP THEIR ASSES!

Take the log out of your ass please

As a victim of nicotine addiction, I was immediately drawn to a new slogan floating in cyber space:

“Kick the CO2 Habit” - UNEP Says It May Be Easier Than You Think

Alas, the United Nations Environmental Programme has not come up with any magical solutions to save my soul but have launched a campaign to save all our souls by giving us practical solutions on how we may reduce our daily carbon emissions.

Here are some practical tips posted on the Kenya Environmental and Political Blog:

-Backing campaigns to encourage airlines to give free coach and rail miles instead of free air miles in order to promote switches to more environmentally-friendly forms of transport.

-Waking up with a traditional wind-up alarm clock rather than the beep of an electronic one - this can save someone almost 48 grams (g) of CO2 each day.

-Choosing to dry clothes on a washing line versus a tumble dryer - a daily carbon diet of 2.3 Kg of CO2.

-Replacing a 45-minute workout on a treadmill with a jog in a nearby park. This saves nearly 1 Kg of the main greenhouse gas.

As I banged on my electronic alarm clock, reached for a cigarette and psyched myself up to get on the treadmill, one fine polluted morning in Nairobi, I thought...

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I HAVE HAD IT!

How much are these environmental specialists being paid to sit around and calculate the carbon emissions my alarm clock gives off while they sit smug behind the closed windows of their 4wd cars spewing diesel fumes in my face as I race to get my daughter to school on time. What do you think the carbon emissions are for a car like this below compared to my alarm clock???

We all know that UNEP has its headquarters in Nairobi. We all know that roads in Kenya got munched away by our government a long time ago. However, we also know that the road to UNEP from which ever direction you are coming from (except if you live in Kibera or Dandora or Kangemi which I have sincerely have my doubts that any UNEP personel even has a clue where that may be), are as good as they get in our part of the world. Tell me Mr. Achim Steiner, do you really, really need a 4wd drive car to get to work? Tell Mr. Steiner, to the hundred and one strong untaxed UNEP staff working to save our planet really really need 4wd cars or ostentatious BMWs to drive to Yaya Centre for coffee??

Didn't your campaign managers see this coming when they flooded cyber space with 1001 wise ways to save our planet?? Did you not see the mileage you would have got were you to launch your campaign by telling us what UNEP is directly doing to reduce carbon emissions?

SHAME ON YOU! No wonder African governments spend borrowed money to buy fleets of 4wd cars for themselves - they have you to set the example.
SHAME ON YOU UNEP! How many millions of dollars do you spend on your pretty documents to tell us the world is ending if we don't stop using alarm clocks and that Africa is going to suffer most even though we have the least amount of carbon emissions?
SHAME ON YOU! Your expatriate staff parade themselves around town with red plates on their duty-free cars with duty free fuel spewing out on to the faces of the countless street children and hungry Kenyans walking miles to work to clean your houses for pathetic wages.

How do you all sleep at night? Don't you see it?

Get the indigenous log out of your asses before you tell the rest of us to take the pin (Made in China) out of ours.